You were born as a female in a male body. Its quite a challenge. You have a male body yet, you have feeling and thoughts and emotions of a female, and you are physically attracted to males. It's very confusing for you. But the lesson here is to
experience of what it is to be a male. To find peace in your condition is to be a male and behave as one. It easier said then done but its the fact. Walk like a man, talk like a man, be like a man. Hope it helps.
I would say the contrary. Don’t ever try to identify yourself to a gender (voluntarily – because your subconscious will certainly do it). Try to be yourself at all costs, and if you don’t know how to be yourself, the work will consist in finding it.
For me, this would be true for everyone of us, male, female, hetero, gay, lesbian, trans, or others, and also for other roles than gender ones. Forcing oneself in identifying to a role, to a behavior, to a mentality, to a fashion, is the worse way to become happy and to live healthy.
What our education, what television, what our relatives, tell us to do is not always the right thing to do. It’s for sure difficult to go outside of the rails that the society has traced for us. But sometimes it’s far better than forcing ourself to stay on those rails when we don’t feel it OK.
And it’s probably problematic as well, if - by reaction - we try to become the contrary of what the society has told us to be. Finding the right path is not easy for everyone. But searching is better than submit ourself blindly.
Personally I have problems with the fact that people are expecting a lot of things from me because I’m a woman. To my eyes women are men like others. The hormonal and physic differences are much too tiny to make such a huge difference of mentality such as the one carried in our society. Neurosciences are presently confirming this.
Acting like a woman, acting like a man: is conditioning.
To my eyes, even if I’m a woman, I couldn’t imagine to wear skirts, make up, nylons. I’ve tried, and I felt disguised or looking like a doll, presenting myself as a sexual object. I’m not either interested by cooking, fashion, sewing, etc. And if I was a man, I’m sure that I wouldn’t be interested by football, cars, video games, etc.
It’s a long long conditioning to learn to look like the standards or stereotypes that the society is requiring from each one of us. So, if we don’t feel attracted by them, we should learn to stop to listen to those implicite orders.
And I think that, probably those conditionings are even 10 times more confusing for a man attracted by men, or for a woman attracted by women. Which standards should then be the most appropriate for them? Should they then have to fake a gender, which one is already wearing a mask?
That’s why I would tell to try to find oneself first, before trying to obey to what the society has dictated us to do. Loving ourself as we are, is the best we can do, instead of trying to be someone else or trying to be what others are expecting from us to be.
The miracle happens when we really love ourself as we are : others begin to love us for who we are, and they don’t ask us anymore to change.
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After heaving written what’s above, I’ve read an article in French concerning the cerebral difference between men and women, in a magazine about « the mysteries of the brain ».
I want to share three quotes from this article. I did translate myself the two first ones which have been taken from a research made by a team from Pennsylvania University :
« Although differences regarding connectivity between genders exist, the masculine and feminine connexion schemes are, generally, more similar than different. »
second one :
« The reality, as numerous studies in psychlogy are showing, is that the behavior differences between genders owe much to the social influence. »
And finally :
Cordelia Fine has written in her book « Delusions of Gender » :
« The male brain, is like nothing in the world so much as a female brain. »
