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Author Topic: I'm doing the meditations for self-esteem issues. Can you share your thoughts?  (Read 1070 times)

Offline jmary

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I did the meditations two years ago and created an upheaval in my life that threw me off balance so badly that I'm still unraveling from it.  It's as though all my stuff came to the surface saying, "Jennifer, it's time to feel me and look at me!"  (Has anyone experienced anything similar?)

I'm back at it again and am focusing on my obsessive thinking about some lines forming at the sides of my mouth and how I'm aging and believing I'm going to be unattractive.  It's clouds my life and prevents me from letting go and enjoying myself.  It's layered and old and sometimes pretty dark and seems impossible to change......but I'm on day four of the meditations and working on it.  :) 

Has anyone felt worse after starting the meditations?  Is that the resistance in me?  Do I just power through and keep at it?

I need some hope.


Offline Murrgon

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This reply is quite late, but seeing as no one else said anything I thought I would jump in.

If I remember correctly, the actual definition of meditation is "to become familiar with" or "to know thyself".  Self introspection often does reveal aspects of ourselves that are dark and undesirable.  That is the very nature of meditation, but through that revelation you can then identify those areas in your life where you want to see real transformation.  Without that knowledge of yourself, it would prove difficult to change it.  If you don't know what the problem is, it is difficult to come up with a solution,

I'm not sure I would use the phrase "power through it", but staying with your meditations is crucial to working towards your goals.  A common mistake I made starting out is judging my meditations. Either during or afterwards we often think to ourselves, "oh that didn't go so well", or "that wasn't bad" or "that could have been better".  The whole point of meditation is to be with yourself without the judgement.  We must accept who we are in the moment and then point ourselves in the direction where we want to go.

The Universal Mind places no judgement upon us.  When we can align our mind to it, when we can remove our judgements and accept ourselves, we will begin to tap into the divine that is within us all.

Offline Anja1111

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Hi Jennifer,

My reply is late too, but that's because I registered today  :)

I am at day 5 of the Breaking the habit of being yourself meditation(s) and I do the body parts induction (the water rising makes me freak out a bit as soon as the water covers my entire body, I feel like I am drowning LOL!). Every now and then my good old "crazy thoughts" come to the surface. What I learned from my meditation experience before I started Dr. Joe's, is to simply accept whatever "flies" through my mind. I see my thoughts as guests coming in and leaving the space. I simply let them be for which/who they are, without focusing (too much) on them. Simply let it happen, and moving my attention back on the meditation.

So I don't resist anything that happens and I don't pay attention to it either. That is accepting the moment, without judging yourself for whatever is happening in your thoughts and feeling and emotions. Just let it be, don't identify, don't fight it, simply being in the moment.

You do it your own way, there is no right or wrong. And you take your time to get used to all the parts of the meditations, that is what I am intending. No matter what my mind comes up with.

Remember that our body has become the subconscious mind as Dr. Joe describes in his books. And it doesn't like us to replace the old habits for healthy and better new ones. So it will come up with all kinds of tricks and ways to make you change your mind and stay in your old patterns. Simply recognize this and know it's part of the process you and I and all that practice meditation are in. It's normal.

Don't listen to that body whenever it tries to drag you back into the old patterns. I treat it as a nasty child that is yelling it wants ice cream instead of healthy veggies  ;)

I am getting better and better. Before I start the meditation I set my intention just to relax and become aware of "me" and the space I am in! Without judging. Just being in the moment. It is not a competition. You are doing a perfect job, no matter what happens. It is part of the process. When you remind yourself about this and just relax in the best way possible, you are doing great. And will get better as long as you don't give up. Keep practicing!

No problem that you can't reply! I hope you can read this and that it might help others as well, who share the same "issues" (or related). I hope you are doing much better right now. If possible, let us know how you are doing!

 :-* Sending you much Love from the Netherlands  :-*

Love your Life Now!

Offline Calispera

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I think that it’s also important to know better how thoughts and emotions are working and influencing each other.

Meditation implies sometimes that the thoughts crossing our mind are automatically awakening emotions. And sometimes these emotions are very negative and putting our mind in hostage. If fear and anger are inhabiting our mind, they can make the problem bigger than it really is.

Emotions are the reflexes linked to certain thoughts (this is only one possible origin of emotions), that create an hormonal production in our body, and so we can feel stressed, we can sweat or shiver or many other consequences due to the presence of these hormones.

I’ve read somewhere, but I don’t have the reference anymore, that, for instance, if cortisol has been injected in the body (by our reptilian part of the brain) because of an emotion, it stays in the body for several hours. If I remember well, it’s about 6 hours. But maybe it varies from person to person, or maybe it vary according to the importance of the emotion.

But, what is important, is to know that, as long as the hormone stays present in the body, it will send us back to the negative thoughts and we can then stay in a kind of vicious circle. For, if we are staying in negative thoughts, we are going on producing the hormone.

That’s why it’s so difficult to get out of a state of mind when it’s negative. More it’s intense, more it’s difficult to get out of it.

So, during the meditation, if we enter in that kind of state of mind, it is essential to learn to recognize it (and it’s not as simple as I’m explaining it, because the emotion sweeps away all our good intentions and all our good understandings of the situation, when we are in the wrong state of mind).

It’s a long term process to learn to recognize it, and only then, it becomes possible to learn to observe our thoughts during that period.

Observing without judging makes also possible to refuse to believe all those thoughts that are persecuting ourselves. It makes then possible to know that we’ll have to wait until the hormones will be eliminated.

Later, we will reach a position where we can learn to react with the mind before having created the emotion. I mean that we can choose our thoughts. And when thoughts crossing our mind about subjects that put us in big bad emotions are arising, we can choose to avoid them, or treat them at another moment, or with someone or with a technique, or with the help of whatever, in order that they are not taking us in hostage.

I don’t think that it’s constructive to stay in meditation when too big emotions are present. I mean that, as long as we are not able to manage them, and as long as we are not able to observe those accompanying thoughts without believing them blindly ; it can make the problem much bigger and create useless symptoms. It’s then better momentarily to try to distract from then.

But it's essential then, to treat those emotions at the side.

It depends of course, of the size of the problem, and mostly of the size of the emotions.

I talk here about big emotions, causing big stress, and being able to create symptoms on the body.

What can also be done, for instance : when we are in a big bad emotions in the middle of a meditation, we can stop it momentarily and make an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) before going back to the meditation.

I’m only talking about my way to treat this kind of problem. I’m not the teacher here ;)

But what I mostly wanted to draw the attention on, is the fact that, when the emotion has arisen, the presence of the hormone in the body will force our mind to work on another way : leading us to make the problem bigger, being in a vicious circle of thoughts, and in some way : lying to ourselves.

Offline Larry

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"Jennifer, it's time to feel me and look at me!"  this sounds familiar.

Yes when I began the work I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and fear so initially the work helped me feel better and within a few months or so I crashed again. This was very disheartening but the downside was not as deep as before and something made me keep going. Even though I was uncomfortable I kept looking for things in my life that were signals to keep going. Changes, meetings, other occurrences support from friends, etc.,  I found that my old body/mind was trying to remain in the  past literally bringing discomfort to me so I would go back to the old ways. So that calling to the old ways is not me, it's just an old familiar pattern.

 Dr Joe says sometimes a person needs to keep creating the new feeling over and over and over again until that new path is easier to take than the old worn path.

That is why the meditation is so important, it lets us begin a new way of being.
may I be the softness I'd like to see in the world