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Author Topic: About 3 months, i've started with this journey, I haven't other meditation but..  (Read 127 times)

Online YoungPadawan

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I had to share this, i kinda am busy with my new Life as a Business Analyst, I got the job i wanted. My mentor and friend of mine has already found his loved one, and I'm constructing my own future.
At first I was a bit of an analytical skeptic, that this would work, but before I begin I just want to share my story:

In the last 2016, I was with a team of friends, we made a whole team, We were travelling together, we had so many adventures, a lot changed on my birthday, My Uncle was diagnosed with Stroke, and I was the only one left, in the house, along with my Aunt. I kinda celebrated my birthday by treating myself, and buying my own spectacles, since mine was broken, so I went back home only to realize the news, My Uncle had a Stroke, My Aunt was calling me crying her eyes out, and the neighbors helped her go to the hospital, I was dumbfounded that, that day where my intentions was for me became an eye opening experience. So the next day, I kinda felt guilty, I did damage control, but the guilt didn't help, my family didn't say anything but my middle sister, was giving me the stare of blame, my family has it's ups and downs tho. So at New Year's my Uncle came to the arms of God, I didn't recover after that. I felt the guilt was on me, after the processions, my sister was a bitch, she wanted to put all the blame on me, she wasn't aware of the damage her tongue can do. She didn't know the stress at work, the stress of living with them made me feel, and ask the questions "Is it worth it?, am I really happy with how they treat me? If only they knew Uncle was the one supporting me in this Goddamned Household". They never knew that they were pushing me to the limit, I even shouted at a French friend unintentionally blaming him, he is now avoiding me, but I guess I can't blame him for that.

Six months has passed, my friends and I had a misunderstanding, my mentor, now my ex-mentor friend from that group, focused his time on his adopted son, while my ex best friend was accomodating them, and his "new" friends. When that six months happened, i felt like they were blaming me on why i got to my depression, they've misunderstood me, and they even talked behind my back, and for some reason, i saw people differently, in that six months, i thought that the person whom was the Angsty one, was the kindest of our team, he supported me even if I needed a best friend at that, he stayed. In all honesty it was ironic that this guy, was recruited by my ex best friend in the team. So I've decided to send a farewell letter, for them even if i didn't like it. I decided maybe it's time I just recover and do it.

In the past year, I've went to soo many inspirational speakers, giving me motivation about myself. But none of them, made me become consistent and interested, I've tried tons of new jobs saying it might get better but it didn't. I was at my last point, til i met this guy on Facebook (Mutual Friend), I've decided to chat him about Tony Robbins and other stuff. At that point he decided to help me, i think he was already like halfway there when I met him (Spoiler, he is the mentor, I have now, I'm really grateful I took the chance) . I tried reading the books he suggested, what piqued me was Dr. Joe's Becoming Supernatural, I've decided to watch those testimonials, and those videos and interviews, of course, I was a a bit of a skeptic at first. I've thought of suicide, I've even thought of hurting myself, I've even had this ego and someone whispering bad things at me, I also remember the Laugh that the Step son of my ex- mentor did when i was suffering alone. My thoughts and emotions became a trigger that I'm a person who doesn't deserve good things, these people, these toxic people felt entitled to tell me what I am.

It came to a point that I tried the meditation videos, in youtube, the Changing beliefs and perceptions (binural)
And I exercised Hal Elrod's Miracle morning routine. I did a lifestyle change, and I promised myself not to cry to sleep, because I've been dumped by these people, I always thought my world revolved around them, they didn't know that I was actually loyal to their cause, I've found out that I was stupid at that, "was". After practicing for a month, I've little by little, had these surge of energy flow thru me, at about 2017, I started doing it as a lifestyle, I think I've lost count what month I've started but I've had visions of myself seeing the sunset, seeing friends, I even saw my new Mentor and I fisihing in the streams in Canada, I had these sense of purpose. I saw all of it. I think I was overwhelmed that there was this inner voice that told me, that this was something I needed to do, to travel. And see how life, can change. It was weird, but I wasn't aware that after that meditation, there were tears in my eyes, I didn't tear up like a year after that incident. There were no judgements, I've felt loved, I felt like maybe, maybe these people I have right now are truly the one's I should meet, in my lifetime. Even if we are a continent away.

It came to a point, I've said my Sorry's at some people especially the French Friend, I've talked about, but at luck would have it, he doesn't look at our Chats like we used too. I'm getting the silent treatment, but he sees it from time to time, my last message was "I've changed for the better, I don't harbour anymore hate anymore, I learned to know myself, and meditate as well". I unblocked my Facebook, and unblocked those people whom abandoned me when I needed help. I talked with my old team, and the new one's, that I need to find myself thru the cracks, which they hugged me for and applaud me, for what I'm doing. One person told me, "Atleast you're honest, unlike some fake people, I've encountered". I also had to reconnect with a long time colleague, and now Someone I'm courting.


At that point, I detached myself from toxic people, I've also became neutral, and balanced, I actually got work this month, I really think this is the one, I love to have the experiences. Lately I've been struggling meditating, but I think, when I see that future, travelling. It makes me feel like this destiny is for me. And no one, could take it away. It came to a point for me, to smile and just be happy how life takes me. And now, all I can tell you is this, It's your choice. Go stay were you are, Or do something, that would help you. Find yourself thru the cracks, and don't let your imperfections be what stands in what you really want. You are what you want to be. As Dr. Joe said, you aren't what you are feeling. And for that I hope you'd have a good read with my adventure.

I'll be off and seeing you guys, when I achieve those things I seen, I'll be here in the forums from time to time, Thanks  ;)

Offline Changing

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Dear YoungPadawan,

wow thank's for this story of a piece of your life and struggle. I think we all struggle a bit with our changing into this journey. Your right, "you're arent what your feeling". I do struggle tonight with my best friend last comment on my changing (no wonder why I named myself "changing" here at this forum  :D) , she said "be careful you seems to got into a secte with that Dispenza thing" omg did it got into my heart badly. I felt that huge gab getting bigger and bigger between us.  And then I read your story. So this is synchronicity for me, thank's YoungPadawan.
Take care and I'll be always please to read you here in this forum.

Offline Walk in Beauty

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Yes, Changing, I was told I was getting into witchcraft 🤣

Well, if they are uninterested in science there is no route to explain it. I and my partner are science fans so learning how to apply quantum physics in practical home life made perfect sense to me.

I am finding I must keep my Dr Joe discussions to people who have tried it, or are already meditating with other methods.

YoungPadawan, there are times in ones practice where isolating oneself, perhaps not physically so much as emotionally, is a very good thing. Not falling into the same routine conversations, expectations, etc. Dr Joe says doing the same thing brings the same result. You have to do something different to get a different result. It sounds like you doing this.

I have a question for you... I know when I am around someone who is continuously depressed I feel my energy drain, and just their negative attitude makes me want to avoid them. Do you notice now that you are expecting good things for yourself your friends now enjoy the energy coming from you?
Walk in Beauty 💫

Online YoungPadawan

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It seems that everyone in my circle became more connected with me, I just laugh a lot even If I struggled with a lot of heartache, every material thing or problem wasn't bothersome for me, anymore. I still see good in all things, some people even told me I'm becoming different, others look up to me, it's kinda weird but I don't want to be looked up to, I'm just "me".  :D

At the moment, I admit I'm scared , lost and sometimes full of it, but I'm honest with myself. I feel like there's this someone who I've already awakened within me, that I haven't known,the journey,the pain, it was all necessary to see who I really am, I feel grateful with my mentor, my friends from around the globe, and the people who left me, because without them I wouldn't find meaning what "myself" is, and what a "friend" should be.

Everyone in my Christian friends said, meditation is some world attachment, while I was coping, my godfather actually said that meditation is a centered prayer for the soul, so I still did it. Til I found good things in life, I should be thankful for.

I guess, travelling is somewhat impossible for a person with a "Philippine" passport but I can still see my heart flutter, seeing a lot of countries. I'm pretty much having the courage to go, which I really didn't have back then.

Offline Walk in Beauty

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matrona shared a video of Sadhguru a few days back, this is another of his interviews. He tells about his relationship to family, both the one he was born to and the world family he has now.

I think you will find comfort in this YoungPadawan.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nW0b80CaK_A
Walk in Beauty 💫

Offline matrona

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We  were conditioned to seek  approval of others,  ever since  our first steps  and  our parents  saying  BRAVOoooo!

I do not  have that problem  , with following   Dr Joes work , simply  because  I do not talk about that with my  friends and family  .. hahhahha   I did that  10 years ago , and  experiences  were the SAME !   No one  wanted to listen to my  stories , my  spiritual awakening , about books  I have read etc .. so I left them alone. No more recommendations  from me.  I am walking this path alone.

About the  SECT  remark .  It is a bit strange how  people are reacting ... everything could be a sect ...  and  funny enough, you can safely  follow  the  Christianity path , but up the certain level ..  it is forbidden to talk about priests their wealth,  pedophilia,  scandals ...  etc , and you can safely  believe in  Jesus and other saints , but if you start to go deeper in that , it could be inconvenient ,  and you could be pronounced crazy  ...  if you  tell something about contacting those spirits  , or  see them  ... you must be crazy ...  it is the law.

There is a story about  Madona in Medjugorje in Croatia  - worldly famous  religious site ..   Some kids  on their way from school  "saw"  the mother Marry  !!!  And ever since people  are visiting that place just for that little story.  Is it Truth ?  No one asks that anymore .   And now ,  I am more clear about  mystical healing that is going on there sometimes... It is of course  the group  energy  of people  there with  much love emanating and  honest praying .. so  the energy amplifies and  healing  occur .  ( just like in the workshops )

So ... it really does not matter  what people are talking  and thinking about us.  We are  giving the meaning to all that.   And we can give  any meaning we want , not just that we are programmed to give.

Forgiveness is very important.  It took me years to understand that  - and how to forgive for real, and once for all ... to all  people who  have hurted us.

For example .   Every girl loves her father.   But if a father is overprotecting and forbids to his daughter  this and that over the years , restricts her  friends,  freedom to go  where she want etc ...    Much latter in life  she does not know   WHY   she can not have long lasting relationship ??!   

She did not forgive her father for  denying   her freedom , maybe  she even did not know that she suppose to ... or she means that is normal  for father to protect her  etc ... 

But  SUBCONSCIOUSLY ,  she  so desperately needs FREEDOM, that  she  can commit herself to a long lasting  relationship  and  restrictions  that brings along ...   

That  goes for  tones of  our programed behaviors. We just do not know  - why   are we doing what we are doing.

And  that is also  WHY   I AM  ADORING  dr Joes work , so you do not have to know the causes  of your  sh..t ..
You  can create your NEW SELF -  out of scraps you have  in hands  :) :) :)  ( scraps  I mean some beauty standards  for  us ... nice  body lines  and  faces without wrinkles   :) 

But  nevertheless  --- it is not so bad to forgive  and let go  of  all your past  traumas and hurts and victim hood.

In  today  meditation  I repeated to myself  -  forgive - forgive - forgive - let go  of all the pain you have felt  over the years - MAKE A ROOM FOR NEW  THINGS IN LIFE . and new people .  it is not  in a line with  Becoming Super Natural , but  I needed to be sure that  I did just that , so  it would not pop up  again.

Offline matrona

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Offline Changing

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wow this is a great discussion. Thanks to all of you!
I will from now on, follow what you said here in this forum.... just keep for myself and few who really are curious in a positive way with my journey. And I think I know how to feel who to talk about this and who not to talk about this.
I do feel much better today, by reading you all and by realizing that it is fine like this since it will give me more space to new creation for my future, like YoundPadawan said "thanks to all of them" it revealed more about myself and my changing into "me".
And it is funny, synchronicity, at the same time the Cancun workshop just open same day.... tadammm I AM GOING!!!!
Soooo excited about this.


Online YoungPadawan

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Wow, Onlinechanging, I actually want to go on a workshop with Dr. Joe but as luck would have it, I'm starting out, maybe when I afford my own travels and pay for it, I can level up my meditations.

I kind of am living in a third world country, if I get the chance to talk to, Dr. Joe, I'd probably thank him for his insights and about his book. It kinda made me more, patient and more happy in life.

Offline Walk in Beauty

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matrona, what a dear connection you have been to me!

I was going to write that before I watched the video you posted, but since watching that video I have been re energized!!!

My feelings of unworthiness, which I thought I had conquered, but still whisper, needed your post and that video. I thank you with all of my heart!
Walk in Beauty 💫